Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

The most ridiculous concept ever perpetrated by Homo Sapiens is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of the Universes, wants the sacharrine adoration of his creations, that he can be persuaded by their prayers, and becomes petulant if he does not recieve this flattery. Yet this ridiculous notion, without one real shred of evidence to bolster it, has gone on to found one of the oldest, largest and least productive industries in history.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other 'sins' are invented nonsense.

A motion to adjourn is always in order.

Thou art God, and I am God and all that groks is God.

One might define adulthood as the age at which a person learns he must die and accepts his sentence undismayed.

People who go broke in a big way never miss any meals. It is the poor jerk who is shy a half slug who must tighten his belt.

Determine to live life with flair and laughter.