We'll never know where John Kerry stands on an issue because he'll take both sides - all three sides, four sides, however many sides there are - of an issue.

I don't intellectually understand you people. I don't understand your hate, I don't understand your rage, I don't understand what it is about the goodness of this country you can't abide.

I think it's insulting to people who have a heritage of slavery to compare the homosexual experience in America to that. It's an unfortunate, cheap attempt to piggyback on something and to co-opt life experiences of others, claim that you've experienced them yourselves so that you can advance a cause.

Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.

The difference between Los Angeles and yogurt is that yogurt comes with less fruit.

The thing we all have to understand to put these last two years in focus, is that liberals in this country care more about whether European leaders like us than they do about whether terrorists are killing us.