Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.