I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.

I feel bad for people who don't drink because when they wake up in the morning and get out of bed...Thats the best they are gonna feel.