Authors - Homer Simpson
Homer Jay Simpson is a fictional main character in the animated television series The Simpsons and the patriarch of the eponymous family. He is voiced by Dan Castellaneta and first appeared on television, along with the rest of his family, in The Tracey Ullman Show short "Good Night" on April 19, 1987. Homer was created and designed by cartoonist Matt Groening while he was waiting in the lobby of James L. Brooks' office. Groening had been called to pitch a series of shorts based on his comic strip Life in Hell but instead decided to create a new set of characters. He named the character after his father, Homer Groening. After appearing for three seasons on The Tracey Ullman Show, the Simpson family got their own series on Fox that debuted December 17, 1989. - Wikipedia
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed.
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.
I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky & The Pope combined!
I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?
If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
I'm not popular enough to be different.
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
What is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'
Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.
I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?