Authors - P. J. O'Rourke

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Quote 399by Anonymous on 01/01/2011

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.
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    Quote 1118by Anonymous on 10/01/2011

    There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
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      Quote 1433by Anonymous on 13/01/2011

      A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
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        Quote 2596by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

        Traffic is like a bad dog. It isn't important to look both ways when crossing the street. It's more important to not show fear.
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          Quote 2855by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

          A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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            Quote 3310by Anonymous on 05/02/2011

            A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relation. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing, too.
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              Quote 4396by Anonymous on 20/02/2011

              Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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                Quote 4910by Anonymous on 04/05/2011

                The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
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                  Quote 8293by Anonymous on 03/05/2012

                  Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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                    Quote 8856by Anonymous on 01/06/2012

                    The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.
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                      Quote 11925by Anonymous on 31/01/2013

                      Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
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                        Quote 12388by Anonymous on 02/04/2013

                        Government "help" to business is just as disastrous as government persecution... the only way a government can be of service to national prosperity is by keeping its hands off.
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                          Quote 13120by Anonymous on 21/06/2013

                          When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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                            Quote 13169by Anonymous on 25/06/2013

                            Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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                              Quote 13546by Anonymous on 02/08/2013

                              The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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                                Quote 13719by Anonymous on 26/08/2013

                                The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.
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                                  Quote 13747by Anonymous on 27/08/2013

                                  Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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