Authors - Rodney Dangerfield

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Quote 2026by Anonymous on 20/01/2011

I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another.
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    Quote 2351by Anonymous on 28/01/2011

    I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
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      Quote 3526by Anonymous on 06/02/2011

      I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.
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        Quote 4164by Anonymous on 15/02/2011

        I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
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          Quote 5712by Anonymous on 21/08/2011

          When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, Look ... twins!
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            Quote 7934by Anonymous on 06/03/2012

            When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
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              Quote 8913by Anonymous on 05/06/2012

              It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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                Quote 9415by Anonymous on 30/07/2012

                I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
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                  Quote 9961by Anonymous on 05/09/2012

                  I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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                    Quote 10453by Anonymous on 05/10/2012

                    I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
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                      Quote 13131by Anonymous on 21/06/2013

                      I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
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                        Quote 13320by Anonymous on 07/07/2013

                        I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
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                          Quote 13324by Anonymous on 07/07/2013

                          My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
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                            Quote 13740by Anonymous on 26/08/2013

                            What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
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