I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

High-quality food is better for your health.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

Marriage is part of a sort of 50's revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.