Authors - Erma Bombeck

Brief Biography

Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 - April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. From 1965 to 1996, Erma Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife with broad, and sometimes eloquent humor. By the 1970s, her columns were read, twice weekly, by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers of the U.S. and Canada. - Wikipedia

Quotes by Erma BombeckBrowse all of these

Quote 271by Anonymous on 24/12/2010

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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    Quote 327by Anonymous on 27/12/2010

    A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
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      Quote 2698by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

      Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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        Quote 7396by Anonymous on 09/11/2011

        A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
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          Quote 7803by Anonymous on 16/02/2012

          When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
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            Quote 8473by Anonymous on 14/05/2012

            Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
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              Quote 8851by Anonymous on 01/06/2012

              Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
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                Quote 9211by Anonymous on 29/06/2012

                Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
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                  Quote 9232by Anonymous on 01/07/2012

                  Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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                    Quote 9941by Anonymous on 03/09/2012

                    When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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                      Quote 9955by Anonymous on 05/09/2012

                      I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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                        Quote 9967by Anonymous on 06/09/2012

                        Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
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                          Quote 10801by Anonymous on 29/10/2012

                          Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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                            Quote 10930by Anonymous on 11/11/2012

                            Never have more children than you have car windows.
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                              Quote 10952by Anonymous on 12/11/2012

                              A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
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                                Quote 10987by Anonymous on 14/11/2012

                                Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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                                  Quote 11187by Anonymous on 30/11/2012

                                  Never order food in excess of your body weight.
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                                    Quote 11398by Anonymous on 26/12/2012

                                    Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.
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                                      Quote 11541by Anonymous on 08/01/2013

                                      Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo.
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                                        Quote 11955by Anonymous on 03/02/2013

                                        For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
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                                          Quote 12124by Anonymous on 07/03/2013

                                          A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.
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                                            Quote 12235by Anonymous on 18/03/2013

                                            Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
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                                              Quote 12422by Anonymous on 09/04/2013

                                              Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.
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                                                Portrait of Erma Bombeck