Authors - Fran Lebowitz
Frances Ann "Fran" Lebowitz (born October 27, 1950) is an American author. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker. - Wikipedia
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not.
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
My favorite animal is steak.
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.