Authors - Fred Allen

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Quote 86by Anonymous on 13/12/2010

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
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    Quote 1676by Anonymous on 15/01/2011

    Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns -- he should be drawn and quoted.
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      Quote 2111by Anonymous on 22/01/2011

      I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
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        Quote 3373by Anonymous on 05/02/2011

        A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
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          Quote 3803by Anonymous on 10/02/2011

          I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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            Quote 4100by Anonymous on 15/02/2011

            A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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              Quote 8106by Anonymous on 23/04/2012

              I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
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                Quote 8768by Anonymous on 26/05/2012

                Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
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                  Quote 12428by Anonymous on 11/04/2013

                  My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
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                    Quote 12896by Anonymous on 31/05/2013

                    California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
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                      Quote 13124by Anonymous on 22/06/2013

                      I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
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