My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.