Authors - Johnny Carson

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Quote 639by Anonymous on 06/01/2011

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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    Quote 1376by Anonymous on 12/01/2011

    If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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      Quote 1768by Anonymous on 16/01/2011

      For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
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        Quote 1968by Anonymous on 19/01/2011

        The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
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          Quote 2589by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

          Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are you ready?'
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            Quote 2658by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

            Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.
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              Quote 3082by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

              If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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                Quote 3136by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
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                  Quote 3603by Anonymous on 07/02/2011

                  I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
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                    Quote 4146by Anonymous on 15/02/2011

                    People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
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                      Quote 4656by Anonymous on 25/02/2011

                      Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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                        Quote 4766by Anonymous on 27/02/2011

                        If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
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                          Quote 4809by Anonymous on 01/03/2011

                          My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
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