Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together.

By indignities men come to dignities.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

So far I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.