The key is to commit crimes so confusing that police feel too stupid to even write a crime report about them.

First Rule of Collaboration: If you can't link to it, it didn't happen.

You can't choose what you're famous for in life.

The only time anyone's admitted they were a Christian before was when they were busy telling me why they're better than me.

Things aren't magically better if that's what you're hoping for. It's not that simple.

Take it from Richard, poor and lame, what's begun in anger ends in shame.

Slow and steady wins the race, then wastes no time grinding salt-caked glass in your open wounds.

That's the thing with suicide pacts. Sometimes they only really work if they catch you by surprise.