Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.