Authors - Steve Martin

Brief Biography

Stephen Glenn "Steve" Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American actor, comedian, author, playwright, producer, musician and composer. Martin came to public notice as a writer for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and later became a frequent guest on The Tonight Show. In the 1970s, Martin performed his offbeat, absurdist comedy routines before packed houses on national tours. In 2004, Comedy Central ranked Martin at sixth place in a list of the 100 greatest stand-up comics. - Wikipedia

Quotes by Steve MartinBrowse all of these

Quote 657by Anonymous on 06/01/2011

Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!
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    Quote 915by Anonymous on 08/01/2011

    You know what your problem is? It's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
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      Quote 1079by Anonymous on 10/01/2011

      The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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        Quote 1392by Anonymous on 12/01/2011

        Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
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          Quote 1492by Anonymous on 14/01/2011

          I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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            Quote 1728by Anonymous on 15/01/2011

            First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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              Quote 1750by Anonymous on 16/01/2011

              All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
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                Quote 2249by Anonymous on 25/01/2011

                Happiness is so hard to define and foolish to define. Am I acting? That's the worst thing you can ask yourself. You can be happy suddenly. It can spring on you, not when you reach a plateau. You can be happy going backward or going down. You can be happy at the loss of something.
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                  Quote 2431by Anonymous on 29/01/2011

                  Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
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                    Quote 2448by Anonymous on 29/01/2011

                    Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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                      Quote 2549by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                      Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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                        Quote 2608by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                        Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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                          Quote 2615by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                          I could not handle being a woman, I would stay home all day and play with my breasts.
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                            Quote 2886by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                            There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
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                              Quote 3677by Anonymous on 09/02/2011

                              Stand-up comedy is transient. History shows that you can stand up for so long; after that, you're asked to sit down.
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                                Quote 3907by Anonymous on 12/02/2011

                                What I just said is the fundamental, end-all, final, not-subject-to-opinion absolute truth, depending on where you're standing.
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                                  Quote 4185by Anonymous on 16/02/2011

                                  I wrote a novel this year called Shop Girl, and several producers came to me and wanted to turn it into a movie. And I said, "If you think you're going to take this book and change it around, and Hollywoodize it and change the ending...that's going to cost you.
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                                    Quote 4701by Anonymous on 25/02/2011

                                    Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.
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                                      Quote 13610by Anonymous on 09/08/2013

                                      You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
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                                        Portrait of Steve Martin