Authors - W. C. Fields

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Quote 395by Anonymous on 01/01/2011

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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    Quote 1279by Anonymous on 11/01/2011

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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      Quote 1468by Anonymous on 13/01/2011

      Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
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        Quote 2070by Anonymous on 21/01/2011

        If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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          Quote 2715by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

          I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake -- which I also keep handy.
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            Quote 8227by Anonymous on 30/04/2012

            Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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              Quote 8368by Anonymous on 07/05/2012

              I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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                Quote 8955by Anonymous on 08/06/2012

                No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
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                  Quote 9235by Anonymous on 02/07/2012

                  I like children - fried.
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                    Quote 9726by Anonymous on 15/08/2012

                    Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
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                      Quote 10924by Anonymous on 09/11/2012

                      I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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                        Quote 11166by Anonymous on 29/11/2012

                        I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
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                          Quote 11761by Anonymous on 21/01/2013

                          You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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                            Quote 11824by Anonymous on 24/01/2013

                            I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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                              Quote 12958by Anonymous on 05/06/2013

                              Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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                                Quote 14081by Anonymous on 29/10/2013

                                Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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