Authors - Ambrose Bierce

Brief Biography

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 - unknown) was an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. Today, he is probably best-known for his short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and his satirical lexicon The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters" and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce". - Wikipedia

Quotes by Ambrose BierceBrowse all of these

Quote 156by Anonymous on 18/12/2010

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
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    Quote 253by Anonymous on 23/12/2010

    The covers of this book are too far apart.
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    • Ravi: seems to be true for every book I come across

    Quote 345by Anonymous on 27/12/2010

    Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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      Quote 375by Anonymous on 31/12/2010

      Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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        Quote 731by Anonymous on 07/01/2011

        The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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          Quote 1398by Anonymous on 12/01/2011

          The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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            Quote 2194by Anonymous on 24/01/2011

            Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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              Quote 2213by Anonymous on 24/01/2011

              PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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                Quote 2299by Anonymous on 27/01/2011

                In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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                  Quote 2866by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                  The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
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                    Quote 2952by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                    I think that a young state, like a young virgin, should modestly stay at home, and wait the application of suitors for an alliance with her; and not run about offering her amity to all the world; and hazarding their refusal. Our virgin is a jolly one; and tho at present not very rich, will in time be a great fortune, and where she has a favorable predisposition, it seems to me well worth cultivating.
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                      Quote 3074by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                      Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. We ourselves possess Beauty when we are true to our own being; ugliness is in going over to another order; knowing ourselves, we are beautiful; in self-ignorance, we are ugly.
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                        Quote 3122by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                        All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
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                          Quote 3145by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                          Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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                            Quote 3198by Anonymous on 05/02/2011

                            Admiration. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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                              Quote 3837by Anonymous on 11/02/2011

                              A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
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                                Quote 4037by Anonymous on 12/02/2011

                                Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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                                  Quote 4062by Anonymous on 13/02/2011

                                  We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.
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                                    Quote 4363by Anonymous on 20/02/2011

                                    Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills.
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                                      Quote 4503by Anonymous on 22/02/2011

                                      Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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                                        Quote 4690by Anonymous on 25/02/2011

                                        Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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                                          Quote 4707by Anonymous on 25/02/2011

                                          You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged 1440 times a day.
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                                            Quote 4855by Anonymous on 01/03/2011

                                            Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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                                              Quote 8457by Anonymous on 14/05/2012

                                              Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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                                                Quote 8931by Anonymous on 06/06/2012

                                                Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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                                                  Quote 8999by Anonymous on 09/06/2012

                                                  Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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                                                    Quote 9127by Anonymous on 20/06/2012

                                                    Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.
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                                                      Quote 9667by Anonymous on 14/08/2012

                                                      Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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                                                        Quote 10264by Anonymous on 25/09/2012

                                                        Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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                                                          Quote 11066by Anonymous on 20/11/2012

                                                          Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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                                                            Quote 11080by Anonymous on 22/11/2012

                                                            Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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                                                              Quote 11142by Anonymous on 27/11/2012

                                                              Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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                                                                Quote 11165by Anonymous on 29/11/2012

                                                                Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
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                                                                  Quote 11236by Anonymous on 02/12/2012

                                                                  Experience comprises illusions lost, rather than wisdom gained.
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                                                                    Quote 11303by Anonymous on 12/12/2012

                                                                    Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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                                                                      Quote 11621by Anonymous on 12/01/2013

                                                                      Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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                                                                        Quote 11723by Anonymous on 18/01/2013

                                                                        Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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                                                                          Quote 11963by Anonymous on 06/02/2013

                                                                          Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
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                                                                            Quote 12165by Anonymous on 11/03/2013

                                                                            Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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                                                                              Quote 12555by Anonymous on 26/04/2013

                                                                              Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.
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                                                                                Quote 12978by Anonymous on 06/06/2013

                                                                                History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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                                                                                  Quote 13017by Anonymous on 10/06/2013

                                                                                  Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.
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                                                                                    Quote 13142by Anonymous on 22/06/2013

                                                                                    Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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                                                                                      Quote 13214by Anonymous on 27/06/2013

                                                                                      Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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                                                                                        Quote 13524by Anonymous on 31/07/2013

                                                                                        Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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                                                                                          Quote 13870by Anonymous on 12/09/2013

                                                                                          Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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