Authors - Groucho Marx

Brief Biography

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977) was an American comedian and film and television star. He is known as a master of quick wit and widely considered one of the best comedians of the modern era. He made 13 feature films with his siblings the Marx Brothers, of whom he was the third-born. He also had a successful solo career, most notably as the host of the radio and television game show You Bet Your Life. His distinctive appearance, carried over from his days in vaudeville, included quirks such as an exaggerated stooped posture, glasses, cigar, and a thick greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. These exaggerated features resulted in the creation of one of the world's most ubiquitous and recognizable novelty disguises, known as "Groucho glasses", a one-piece mask consisting of horn-rimmed glasses, large plastic nose, bushy eyebrows and mustache. - Wikipedia

Quotes by Groucho MarxBrowse all of these

Quote 89by Anonymous on 13/12/2010

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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  • Ravi: maybe in the States - not in Canada :)

Quote 201by Anonymous on 21/12/2010

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
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    Quote 393by Anonymous on 01/01/2011

    Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
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      Quote 609by Anonymous on 06/01/2011

      A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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        Quote 1207by Anonymous on 11/01/2011

        Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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          Quote 1214by Anonymous on 11/01/2011

          Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read.
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            Quote 1574by Anonymous on 14/01/2011

            Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
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              Quote 1984by Anonymous on 20/01/2011

              Women should be obscene and not heard.
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                Quote 2427by Anonymous on 29/01/2011

                Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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                  Quote 2548by Anonymous on 02/02/2011

                  I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
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                    Quote 2958by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                    I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member.
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                      Quote 2977by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                      Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
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                        Quote 3000by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                        Television is where you watch people in your living room that you would not want near your house.
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                          Quote 3091by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                          I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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                            Quote 3148by Anonymous on 03/02/2011

                            Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.
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                              Quote 3536by Anonymous on 06/02/2011

                              Humor is reason gone mad.
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                                Quote 4152by Anonymous on 15/02/2011

                                From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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                                  Quote 4320by Anonymous on 19/02/2011

                                  Anyone can get old, all you have to do is live long enough.
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                                    Quote 9310by Anonymous on 09/07/2012

                                    All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
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                                      Quote 9626by Anonymous on 10/08/2012

                                      I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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                                        Quote 9936by Anonymous on 03/09/2012

                                        Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
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                                          Quote 10365by Anonymous on 29/09/2012

                                          I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
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                                            Quote 11230by Anonymous on 02/12/2012

                                            In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
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                                              Quote 11556by Anonymous on 09/01/2013

                                              I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
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                                                Quote 12186by Anonymous on 15/03/2013

                                                She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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                                                  Quote 12198by Anonymous on 15/03/2013

                                                  A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.
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                                                    Quote 12423by Anonymous on 09/04/2013

                                                    Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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                                                      Quote 13682by Anonymous on 20/08/2013

                                                      Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
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                                                        Quote 14016by Anonymous on 08/10/2013

                                                        As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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                                                          Portrait of Groucho Marx