| <+TheUltra4sshole> | I mean, we started 2 nights before, recruiting strippers to show up |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | things got out of hand, and we end up with 10 kegs, and who knows how many imported sluts |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | I'm not talking tundra wookies |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | I mean, decent-looking chicks |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | they'd ranks a 6 or 7 here, but are fucking TEN in alaska |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | party goes awesome |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | don't catch any of the game |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | we all pass out by about 3 am |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | first call is at 6 am |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | and being professional alcoholics, we rigged the central firealarm to go off 10 minutes before first call |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | well, we all wake up to the fire alarm, clean the shithole up, then go down to PT formation |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | just expecting a 10-mile detox run or something gay like that |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | 1SG says we're having a health and welfare inspection |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | where he goes through everbody's room and fucks you up for anything that's out of place |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | well... we had 10 empty kegs and a buncha passed out whores in our building... |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | not to mention the little shit like bottle caps and whatnot |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | thank GOD he went to consolidated barracks first, so we had about an hour to get everything cleaned up |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | you wanna talk about a buncha men working as a team... |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | we had the buffer going, you heard nothing but vacuums, sweeping, mopping, and calls for the medic to get a hooker with an IV |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | pure mayhem |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | we get all the sluts out of our own rooms, and since the dayroom only had a little bit of furniture and we can work on it together, we all hit it at once |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | well...there was one chick left over |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | still passed out, topless in a leather skirt |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | when we heard CQ on the first floor call "AT EASE!" |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | fucking panic |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | Aubaugh, being the smart crazy jew he was, stole a buncha rappelling gear from mountaineering |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | tied her passed-out ass up in a swiss-seat |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | (mind you, she was wearing JUST a skirt, and a swiss seat goes between the legs) |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | tie the 120 to the center pillar, tied her figure 8 off in a bowline, and pushed her out the window |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | she hung there for FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | We pass the inspection |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | BUT |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | as 1SG was walking out of the barracks, he walked around the outside looking for cigarette butts and caught us hauling her naked ass back in the window... |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | Fail |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | we had such a good chance to get away with it... |
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<+TheUltra4sshole> | man was that a long week for charlie company, 2-1 infantry |