| <MercyBeat> | For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips. |
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<MercyBeat> | 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?" |
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<MercyBeat> | 2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better." |
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<MercyBeat> | 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat. |
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<MercyBeat> | 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring." |
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<MercyBeat> | 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies. |
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<MercyBeat> | 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts |
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<MercyBeat> | 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson." |
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<MercyBeat> | 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!" |
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<MercyBeat> | 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians |
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<MercyBeat> | 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs. |
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<MercyBeat> | 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck. |
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<MercyBeat> | 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style. |
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<MercyBeat> | 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!" |
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<MercyBeat> | 14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins |
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<MercyBeat> | 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!" |
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<MercyBeat> | 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre. |
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<MercyBeat> | 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?" |
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<MercyBeat> | 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie. |
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<MercyBeat> | 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long. |
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<MercyBeat> | 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused. |