lemonlimeskull> | Keith dodged a serious bullet thanks to his massive stupidity. |
Opium> | Hmm? |
lemonlimeskull> | Well, as you may know he lost his license months ago |
lemonlimeskull> | So he's been biking everywhere, which has lead to him losing a bunch of weight |
lemonlimeskull> | He bikes to Walmart today and as soon as he gets to the electronics department, realizes his wallet's fallen out, probably somewhere along the highway. |
lemonlimeskull> | So he takes the memory card he wanted, puts it up in his baggy sleeve, and goes to leave. |
killjay> | Uh oh |
lemonlimeskull> | Yeah. |
lemonlimeskull> | Naturally, security stops him as he gets within 5 feet of the front doors. This huge obese woman who is obviously having a really bad day - or just hates her job. |
killjay> | o shit |
lemonlimeskull> | She stops him, GRABS his arm, RIPS up his sleeve, and WRENCHES the card out of his hand. |
lemonlimeskull> | He knows he's screwed so he starts crying in the middle of the fucking store. He cries all the way back to the security office, and everyone's staring at him the whole way. |
Opium> | So he's sitting in jail right now |
lemonlimeskull> | That's the awesome part. The manager takes a look at him, notices the bike helmet, poorly fitting clothes, lack of any ID whatsoever, and the fact that he's crying like a three year old. |
killjay> | .... -_- |
lemonlimeskull> | Yes. He was let go and the security woman got chewed out for hurting a "retarded kid". |
Similar:
Chat 8545 | Narcissus: Dude I had a fucking crazy night last night ... |
Chat 12103 | imthatguy: One night home from the bars, which aside from the occasional pizza place the only other thing open was this porno store. I... |
Chat 15375 | yetiamchosen: So the only part about this curse of recruiting potentials for the marine corps that isn't utterly miserable is fucking w... |
Chat 23074 | baka.yuki: i kinda want to explain to her about the positrons in bananas ... |
Chat 4840 | cameltoe: Best resignation letter ever: ... |
Chat 16669 | BigPigPeaches: So my GF and I are watching "The Empire Strikes Back" last night. Let me say that this is possibly my favorite movi... |
Chat 6542 | Anonymous: Now, I'm sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over,... |
Chat 10369 | Shovel: I ran across the worst named person in the world today... ... |
Chat 3257 | @MORA: THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN ..
@MORA: Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with f... |